9:15 pm and I wondered through a lovely walkway with interesting small houses on either side. Very middle class and neat and well kept. Coming towards me was a guy looking at the pathway. He stopped and said, "Have you seen any blood on Hollins Walk? I'm from the council and the police have just rung asking us to clean up some blood on Hollins Walk. Have you seen any?"
"I haven't seen any but then I haven't been looking at the ground. There are garages around the back on both sides so it might be round there." I replied.
Well, how peculiar! How did the blood get there? Surely if a crime had been committed there would be a cordoned-off-bit with police tape for forensic purposes. Had someone had a fall and broken flesh? Had someone brought a freshly killed animal carcass through from a car? Now that is a little far fetched isn't it? But I'm still wondering what the story is behind the blood spill on a peaceful residential walkway.
Sunday, 15 June 2008
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Wedding Anniversary
Oh, I've just noticed the date. June 3rd. My wedding anniversary. Not that I'm married anymore but it is the only wedding I've had. 29 years ago.
It was a scorching hot day. Too hot for suits and formal attire. I had a blinding headache the whole day from the stress of it all. We spent as little as we could - bought my dress from Miss Selfridge and the bridesmaids' from Top Shop. We were going to have everyone round to our 2-up 2-down terraced house and I was going to cater but Adrian's mum said we should not do this. I think she gave us some money to help hire the community centre for the reception and the local pub to cater. My parents gave us a casserole dish as a wedding present and told us it was very expensive and that we were very lucky. (Actually it is a very good dish, makes chicken taste wonderful and I still use it regularly)
My mouth muscles hurt from all the smiling but it was good to see all the friends who came to the do. I even got to see my granny for the first time in a very long time. We were never close. Shame that.
The next day, well the next week, was cold and wet. We drove down from Manchester to Cornwall to stay in my new sister-in-law's parents static caravan. I lost my watch on the way down there when we visited a tourist information place. We were the first ones at the caravan after the winter so had to clean it out. We had very little money after paying for the wedding so were hoping for picnics on the beach. Instead it was miserable weather so it was picnics in the car 'cos we couldn't afford restaurants. This was before fast food restaurants and pizza places. Cheap food was served in greasy cafes. Although we were very grateful for the free loan, the caravan was not a place we wanted to spend time in.
So we cut our honeymoon short and spent a few days at my parent's place! We didn't even like my parents but they lived in Taunton which was on the way home, and we weren't ready to go home quite yet. On the way back we called in at the tourist information place and asked about my watch and were gobsmacked that it was handed to us! An Australian family had found it.
We were best friends, my husband and I, I remember and I met him for the first time in many years at my eldest daughter's wedding last summer. It will be her first wedding anniversary soon. I hope they are still together 30 years later.
It was a scorching hot day. Too hot for suits and formal attire. I had a blinding headache the whole day from the stress of it all. We spent as little as we could - bought my dress from Miss Selfridge and the bridesmaids' from Top Shop. We were going to have everyone round to our 2-up 2-down terraced house and I was going to cater but Adrian's mum said we should not do this. I think she gave us some money to help hire the community centre for the reception and the local pub to cater. My parents gave us a casserole dish as a wedding present and told us it was very expensive and that we were very lucky. (Actually it is a very good dish, makes chicken taste wonderful and I still use it regularly)
My mouth muscles hurt from all the smiling but it was good to see all the friends who came to the do. I even got to see my granny for the first time in a very long time. We were never close. Shame that.
The next day, well the next week, was cold and wet. We drove down from Manchester to Cornwall to stay in my new sister-in-law's parents static caravan. I lost my watch on the way down there when we visited a tourist information place. We were the first ones at the caravan after the winter so had to clean it out. We had very little money after paying for the wedding so were hoping for picnics on the beach. Instead it was miserable weather so it was picnics in the car 'cos we couldn't afford restaurants. This was before fast food restaurants and pizza places. Cheap food was served in greasy cafes. Although we were very grateful for the free loan, the caravan was not a place we wanted to spend time in.
So we cut our honeymoon short and spent a few days at my parent's place! We didn't even like my parents but they lived in Taunton which was on the way home, and we weren't ready to go home quite yet. On the way back we called in at the tourist information place and asked about my watch and were gobsmacked that it was handed to us! An Australian family had found it.
We were best friends, my husband and I, I remember and I met him for the first time in many years at my eldest daughter's wedding last summer. It will be her first wedding anniversary soon. I hope they are still together 30 years later.
Friday, 30 May 2008
Chealsea Flower Show
It was my fifty second birthday last week and my daughters took me to Chelsea Flower Show because I had mentioned that I had aways wanted to go to it.
Helen came with me although Claire paid her share. We set off at 6:10am to get the bus to the railway station. It was surprisingly warm considering how early it was. Usually in Britain there is a nip in the air during early morning even if it turns out to be a warm day.
The sun shone on the station platform as we waited for the fast train to London.
I go to London quite a bit but when I go it is usually to Tottenham, which is a long journey to the north east of London. I use the underground because it is quicker and I am scared of getting the wrong bus and I never know what stop to get off. The underground is much simpler - a simple map to follow and I always know when to get off and where to change train lines. I was therefore resistant to Helen's plan to get the bus from Paddington station to Victoria station to meet up with the flower show shuttle bus.
She showed me on the Internet that it took the same amount of time to go by bus as underground. Also it would be obvious when we got to Victoria station so we would not miss the stop.
I'm so glad we went by bus because I rarely get to see the centre of London. The sun was shining and the streets were still very quiet. It was a pleasant journey viewing the beautiful buildings and parks from the top deck of the bus.
We arrived at the gates of the Flower Show grounds about 15 minutes before they opened at 8am. There was quite a queue, but as the day wore on we realised that we had made the right decision to go early. By 11 o'clock the crowds were very thick and it was difficult to get to see the garden displays.
We managed to see most of the gardens and all of the inside pavilion displays before then. The commercial stands, which we viewed in the afternoon, were very interesting too.
We had an early lunch. We were hungry by 11:00. We had taken breakfast to eat on the train but that was still early. Helen had read that it was recommended to go for lunch before 12 or after 2 due to the crowds of people. We noticed that most people had brought picnic lunches and were eating whilst sitting on walls or the grass, especially by the bandstand.
I love walking the streets looking at people's gardens so it was a real treat to see so many interesting layouts. I enjoyed the courtyard gardens best, the ones with a traditional theme. I'm not so keen on the 'modern' look with lots of concrete and no soul.
I particularly enjoyed sitting in all the swing seats for sale to see which was most comfortable. Of course that was the most expensive seat at a few thousand pounds. But it was also very good quality.
I also enjoyed the displays of plants in the pavilion. I didn't realise there were so many varieties of lavender or clematis or delphinium.
It was funny seeing people walking home with enormous plants in pots at the end of the day. We went on Saturday which was the last day so there was a big sell off. The shuttle bus was like a greenhouse with more plants that people. Regulars had come prepared with trolleys to wheel their acquisitions home.
My favourite flowers are the wild ones and I bought quite a few packets of seeds. Primrose and cowslips are the ones I snapped up first. I am looking forward to having a garden to sow these seeds in ...... but that is another post.
Helen came with me although Claire paid her share. We set off at 6:10am to get the bus to the railway station. It was surprisingly warm considering how early it was. Usually in Britain there is a nip in the air during early morning even if it turns out to be a warm day.
The sun shone on the station platform as we waited for the fast train to London.
I go to London quite a bit but when I go it is usually to Tottenham, which is a long journey to the north east of London. I use the underground because it is quicker and I am scared of getting the wrong bus and I never know what stop to get off. The underground is much simpler - a simple map to follow and I always know when to get off and where to change train lines. I was therefore resistant to Helen's plan to get the bus from Paddington station to Victoria station to meet up with the flower show shuttle bus.
She showed me on the Internet that it took the same amount of time to go by bus as underground. Also it would be obvious when we got to Victoria station so we would not miss the stop.
I'm so glad we went by bus because I rarely get to see the centre of London. The sun was shining and the streets were still very quiet. It was a pleasant journey viewing the beautiful buildings and parks from the top deck of the bus.
We arrived at the gates of the Flower Show grounds about 15 minutes before they opened at 8am. There was quite a queue, but as the day wore on we realised that we had made the right decision to go early. By 11 o'clock the crowds were very thick and it was difficult to get to see the garden displays.
We managed to see most of the gardens and all of the inside pavilion displays before then. The commercial stands, which we viewed in the afternoon, were very interesting too.
We had an early lunch. We were hungry by 11:00. We had taken breakfast to eat on the train but that was still early. Helen had read that it was recommended to go for lunch before 12 or after 2 due to the crowds of people. We noticed that most people had brought picnic lunches and were eating whilst sitting on walls or the grass, especially by the bandstand.
I love walking the streets looking at people's gardens so it was a real treat to see so many interesting layouts. I enjoyed the courtyard gardens best, the ones with a traditional theme. I'm not so keen on the 'modern' look with lots of concrete and no soul.
I particularly enjoyed sitting in all the swing seats for sale to see which was most comfortable. Of course that was the most expensive seat at a few thousand pounds. But it was also very good quality.
I also enjoyed the displays of plants in the pavilion. I didn't realise there were so many varieties of lavender or clematis or delphinium.
It was funny seeing people walking home with enormous plants in pots at the end of the day. We went on Saturday which was the last day so there was a big sell off. The shuttle bus was like a greenhouse with more plants that people. Regulars had come prepared with trolleys to wheel their acquisitions home.
My favourite flowers are the wild ones and I bought quite a few packets of seeds. Primrose and cowslips are the ones I snapped up first. I am looking forward to having a garden to sow these seeds in ...... but that is another post.
Sunday, 18 May 2008
Freecycle and LETS
I've been having great fun 'shopping' using Freecycle just recently.
Freecycle is a wonderful organisation that makes marvelous use of the internet's capacity for networking.
People who live in the same geographical area join an email list and post offers and wants. When someone has an item they no longer want to keep they post an offer email describing the item and their postcode and people respond off list to them if they would like the item. If there are several people wanting the item, then the owner of the item gets to choose who they will give it to.
The fortunate person chosen then arranges a day/time to pick up the item and the original owner posts a 'taken' email to let everyone know it has gone.
If anyone wants a specific item they can post a 'wanted' email and people who can oblige let them know.
This system has two big advantages. It keeps items out of the rubbish dumps and helps those who are short of money.
I needed something to store books etc on a while ago and claimed a large and sturdy shelving unit. It is doing a marvelous job. As it would be impossible to transport it on my bike I 'employed' a driver to collect it for me.
The 'employing' of a driver is also a good story. I am a member of LETS. I think it stands for Local Exchange and Trading System. People in this organisation let other members know what they can/are willing to do for other people. This is collated in a directory. So when someone wants a service they look in the directory and asks a person who has listed that skill/service. So when I needed the shelf transporting I asked a guy who listed this service and he collected it for me. He charged me '5 Readies' and £2 for petrol.
The people of Reading call their LETS currency 'Readies' which is a play on the town name and a slang term for pounds. In the town of Wakefield the currency is 'Locks', which is a reference to the canal locks, of which there are quite a few in the area.
I remember when I was incapacitated with the 'flu for a few weeks when my girls were young. I could only drag myself downstairs to the sofa so I was around and aware of what they were doing. I could not cook for them, take them to school or shop for food. Fortunately a neighbour took my youngest, Claire to school with her daughter. And Helen was old enough and sensible enough to make beans of toast. I also wrote a note so she could get the child benefit money from the post office and buy a few items of food from the local shop.
My pride and independent spirit did not want to burden friends and neighbours with things that needed doing and I thought it would be great to have a system where you could ask people to do things and not feel obligated because you could in turn do things either for them or someone else. I had not got all the details worked out but knew some scheme like that would have been so useful to me then, and to others as well.
When I moved to Wakefield and discovered LETS I was relieved that someone had already thought through the idea and that I could slot into it without reinventing the wheel.
The main service I offer at the moment is EFT and earned a few Readies helping a certain lady over a series of weeks.
Everyone who joins is given some Readies to start them off trading. I remember in Wakefield several people would offer surplus vegetables from their garden. And I asked someone to help me clear my overgrown garden. Recently I have asked someone to come and mend a broken drawer, change a wheel on my bike and of course transport my Freecycle goods.
It is good that these two organisations work hand in hand so well.
Freecycle is a wonderful organisation that makes marvelous use of the internet's capacity for networking.
People who live in the same geographical area join an email list and post offers and wants. When someone has an item they no longer want to keep they post an offer email describing the item and their postcode and people respond off list to them if they would like the item. If there are several people wanting the item, then the owner of the item gets to choose who they will give it to.
The fortunate person chosen then arranges a day/time to pick up the item and the original owner posts a 'taken' email to let everyone know it has gone.
If anyone wants a specific item they can post a 'wanted' email and people who can oblige let them know.
This system has two big advantages. It keeps items out of the rubbish dumps and helps those who are short of money.
I needed something to store books etc on a while ago and claimed a large and sturdy shelving unit. It is doing a marvelous job. As it would be impossible to transport it on my bike I 'employed' a driver to collect it for me.
The 'employing' of a driver is also a good story. I am a member of LETS. I think it stands for Local Exchange and Trading System. People in this organisation let other members know what they can/are willing to do for other people. This is collated in a directory. So when someone wants a service they look in the directory and asks a person who has listed that skill/service. So when I needed the shelf transporting I asked a guy who listed this service and he collected it for me. He charged me '5 Readies' and £2 for petrol.
The people of Reading call their LETS currency 'Readies' which is a play on the town name and a slang term for pounds. In the town of Wakefield the currency is 'Locks', which is a reference to the canal locks, of which there are quite a few in the area.
I remember when I was incapacitated with the 'flu for a few weeks when my girls were young. I could only drag myself downstairs to the sofa so I was around and aware of what they were doing. I could not cook for them, take them to school or shop for food. Fortunately a neighbour took my youngest, Claire to school with her daughter. And Helen was old enough and sensible enough to make beans of toast. I also wrote a note so she could get the child benefit money from the post office and buy a few items of food from the local shop.
My pride and independent spirit did not want to burden friends and neighbours with things that needed doing and I thought it would be great to have a system where you could ask people to do things and not feel obligated because you could in turn do things either for them or someone else. I had not got all the details worked out but knew some scheme like that would have been so useful to me then, and to others as well.
When I moved to Wakefield and discovered LETS I was relieved that someone had already thought through the idea and that I could slot into it without reinventing the wheel.
The main service I offer at the moment is EFT and earned a few Readies helping a certain lady over a series of weeks.
Everyone who joins is given some Readies to start them off trading. I remember in Wakefield several people would offer surplus vegetables from their garden. And I asked someone to help me clear my overgrown garden. Recently I have asked someone to come and mend a broken drawer, change a wheel on my bike and of course transport my Freecycle goods.
It is good that these two organisations work hand in hand so well.
Saturday, 17 May 2008
Car registrations in North Carolina
Two driving instructor cars passed me yesterday. They both had signs on the roof displaying the name of their company.
One was 'Driving Ambition' and the other was '1st U learn'.
This reminded me of the car registration plates in North Carolina. Car owners there can make up their own registrations if they so want. If you didn't choose your own you got three letters followed by four numbers.
Here are some interesting ones that I wrote down as I saw them.
PAM'S RAM (a Dodge Ram)
JOY'S TOY (a red convertable)
GIT GOIN
1 TRKMND
C YAA BY
SWEET P
WARP 9.9
TRUE2GOD
OUTRAJES
LQQK MOM
YB NORMAL
IPORMUD (a very muddy truck)
BORNEGIN
YELLOBUG (on a VW beetle)
LUVLIFE
PACKEMIN
FEDXMAN
REV WIFE
UGOGANMA
29-4-EVER
PHOTOMAN
One was 'Driving Ambition' and the other was '1st U learn'.
This reminded me of the car registration plates in North Carolina. Car owners there can make up their own registrations if they so want. If you didn't choose your own you got three letters followed by four numbers.
Here are some interesting ones that I wrote down as I saw them.
PAM'S RAM (a Dodge Ram)
JOY'S TOY (a red convertable)
GIT GOIN
1 TRKMND
C YAA BY
SWEET P
WARP 9.9
TRUE2GOD
OUTRAJES
LQQK MOM
YB NORMAL
IPORMUD (a very muddy truck)
BORNEGIN
YELLOBUG (on a VW beetle)
LUVLIFE
PACKEMIN
FEDXMAN
REV WIFE
UGOGANMA
29-4-EVER
PHOTOMAN
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Seagulls and Pigeons
We look out over a huge playing field which is part of a park. Every morning during the winter months there has been a flock of seagulls eating worms.
I noticed the other day that they do not come anymore. We have had a warm, dry spell and the ground is hard.
I wonder if the seagulls have gone to the beach with all the holiday makers and day trippers? There would be lots of dropped food going there now.
We live nowhere near the sea. We are about 30 miles from the place which is the furthest away from the sea you can get in England.
We now have a flock of pigeons grazing on the area. I wonder what they are eating? They do not look as nice as the seagulls. I had to look twice to see what the grey things were on the grass. They looked a bit like rats with no tails.
The seagulls by contrast looked regal, especially when they all took off when a dog came into their vicinity.
I love watching the bounding, joyful dogs jumping around their owners as they take their exercise.
I noticed the other day that they do not come anymore. We have had a warm, dry spell and the ground is hard.
I wonder if the seagulls have gone to the beach with all the holiday makers and day trippers? There would be lots of dropped food going there now.
We live nowhere near the sea. We are about 30 miles from the place which is the furthest away from the sea you can get in England.
We now have a flock of pigeons grazing on the area. I wonder what they are eating? They do not look as nice as the seagulls. I had to look twice to see what the grey things were on the grass. They looked a bit like rats with no tails.
The seagulls by contrast looked regal, especially when they all took off when a dog came into their vicinity.
I love watching the bounding, joyful dogs jumping around their owners as they take their exercise.
Monday, 5 May 2008
Instant karma
I read out a snippet from a website to my 21 year old daughter:
'A party boat filled with 60 men and women capsized in Texas after all the passengers rushed to one side as the boat passed a nude beach.'
I laughed and said "That was instant karma for them."
Her reaction was quite different to mine and it took me aback. She couldn't understand why they had all rushed to that side. She would have gone to the opposite side of the boat. "Who wants to see a load of nude people? That's gross!"
Hmm, Oh what a wonderful world it would be to have more people like her. I know that I would rather travel with her than the 60 on that boat.
'A party boat filled with 60 men and women capsized in Texas after all the passengers rushed to one side as the boat passed a nude beach.'
I laughed and said "That was instant karma for them."
Her reaction was quite different to mine and it took me aback. She couldn't understand why they had all rushed to that side. She would have gone to the opposite side of the boat. "Who wants to see a load of nude people? That's gross!"
Hmm, Oh what a wonderful world it would be to have more people like her. I know that I would rather travel with her than the 60 on that boat.
The Newbury Bus
The bus to Newbury goes past the end of my road so I sometimes catch it when traveling home from Reading station. This bus is sometimes a little one, especially on Sundays.
Yesterday this bus came into the bus station, which is just outside the train station. We got on, and as we were waiting to leave another bus that we could have got came in and went out. I fleetingly thought that maybe we should have got that one.
Well, the little bus was just about to leave when a lady got on wanting to go to Newbury. She said the train to Newbury had been canceled. She presented her ticket which was not valid on the bus but the driver was in a good mood and let her on anyway.
Then a group of young people arrived attempting to get on the bus with a train ticket. The bus driver was hesitant about this but they were all deaf with no speech so he could not communicate the problem. They motioned to one of their group who was not yet on the bus. The deaf guy with speech came and started to talk, but by this time the driver was already late leaving, so he motioned them to get on.
So they got on followed by a train-load of people trying to get onto the tiny bus. They weren't all of the same deaf party and the driver, realising that this was getting out of hand told the people not to get on.
He hopped off to ascertain where their proper rail-replacement bus was.
Meanwhile I signed to some of the deaf party that they needed a different bus. This bus needed a different ticket. This bus needed money for the ticket. They understood and off they trooped.
The driver came back and directed all the train passengers to their rail replacement bus which was waiting at the rail-replacement stop.
I was pleased that we had got that bus after all. It was much more exiting than the other journey would have been. And felt good to be able to help the deaf group. It is rare that my sign language ability is needed in daily life.
Yesterday this bus came into the bus station, which is just outside the train station. We got on, and as we were waiting to leave another bus that we could have got came in and went out. I fleetingly thought that maybe we should have got that one.
Well, the little bus was just about to leave when a lady got on wanting to go to Newbury. She said the train to Newbury had been canceled. She presented her ticket which was not valid on the bus but the driver was in a good mood and let her on anyway.
Then a group of young people arrived attempting to get on the bus with a train ticket. The bus driver was hesitant about this but they were all deaf with no speech so he could not communicate the problem. They motioned to one of their group who was not yet on the bus. The deaf guy with speech came and started to talk, but by this time the driver was already late leaving, so he motioned them to get on.
So they got on followed by a train-load of people trying to get onto the tiny bus. They weren't all of the same deaf party and the driver, realising that this was getting out of hand told the people not to get on.
He hopped off to ascertain where their proper rail-replacement bus was.
Meanwhile I signed to some of the deaf party that they needed a different bus. This bus needed a different ticket. This bus needed money for the ticket. They understood and off they trooped.
The driver came back and directed all the train passengers to their rail replacement bus which was waiting at the rail-replacement stop.
I was pleased that we had got that bus after all. It was much more exiting than the other journey would have been. And felt good to be able to help the deaf group. It is rare that my sign language ability is needed in daily life.
Monday, 28 April 2008
Caroline
I got an email the other day from my long lost sister. Except she didn't think she was lost!
I personally had not heard from her for a good few years - her email address no longer worked and I had moved house several times. My mum, who was the only person in the family that she conversed with had lost contact with her too. Mail was returned and she didn't have a phone number that worked. I did not try to trace her because she lived on a Spanish island and if she wasn't still there we didn't have a clue where to look.
My mum spent the first year worrying a little and the second year thinking that no news was good news. Then she resigned herself to the imagined fact that Caroline was happy with her mother-in-law as family and didn't need anyone else.
Then I found an email from her. It was in an old email address inbox that I don't use anymore but am reluctant to cancel for reasons such as this. It had been there for half a month. She wasn't writing to me really. She wanted to know mum's new email address. Well, mum had stopped using the Internet a few years ago.
I started to email her back but stopped because I felt a bit emotional and a little hurt and emails can be misinterpreted so easily.
She had a web address of her business at the bottom of her email. I checked it out. I felt quite proud that my little sister seemed to own a thriving business. I noticed a phone number on the site so phoned it. She answered. It seemed really odd to say 'This is Patricia - your sister'. Odd that she would not know who Patricia was or recognise my voice. We had not spoken to each other since my dad's funeral about 12 years ago. I had tried to email her a few times but she never replied.
We had a nice conversation, and that was when I realised that she didn't know she'd been lost or even missed. She just didn't feel the need for relationships other than her immediate family (even her mother-in-law). She told me that she thought of my mum each night and sent her love at that time.
Caroline has always held a special place in my heart since the day she was born when I was 7 years old. I didn't particularly like the rest of my family but felt that here was someone who I could love. I remember choosing her name. I don't know if I came up with the name or that I just agreed it was the name for her, but it was a family decision because she was a surprise late addition to the family. I remember thinking it was a lemon yellow name.
It saddened me that because I left home when she was 11 and did not have a good relationship with my parents at that time, I hardly had any contact with her.
I wonder if the separation all these years, which I have found painful, was the returning karma of not being there for her when she needed someone during her troubled teenage years? I was at college, and setting up home with my husband during that time. It did occur to me to consider if she could come up and live with us but I don't think it occurred to ask her to stay for a visit.
I remember her as a bridesmaid of mine. We didn't have the traditional dresses - no money for that - and we couldn't find a dress that would fit her top and bottom half so we settled for a smart t-shirt top and skirt, while her sister, the maid of honour, wore a summer cotton frock. Caroline felt awkward and unhappy the whole time.
She certainly seems a happier adult. It will be interesting to see how much contact we have now.
I personally had not heard from her for a good few years - her email address no longer worked and I had moved house several times. My mum, who was the only person in the family that she conversed with had lost contact with her too. Mail was returned and she didn't have a phone number that worked. I did not try to trace her because she lived on a Spanish island and if she wasn't still there we didn't have a clue where to look.
My mum spent the first year worrying a little and the second year thinking that no news was good news. Then she resigned herself to the imagined fact that Caroline was happy with her mother-in-law as family and didn't need anyone else.
Then I found an email from her. It was in an old email address inbox that I don't use anymore but am reluctant to cancel for reasons such as this. It had been there for half a month. She wasn't writing to me really. She wanted to know mum's new email address. Well, mum had stopped using the Internet a few years ago.
I started to email her back but stopped because I felt a bit emotional and a little hurt and emails can be misinterpreted so easily.
She had a web address of her business at the bottom of her email. I checked it out. I felt quite proud that my little sister seemed to own a thriving business. I noticed a phone number on the site so phoned it. She answered. It seemed really odd to say 'This is Patricia - your sister'. Odd that she would not know who Patricia was or recognise my voice. We had not spoken to each other since my dad's funeral about 12 years ago. I had tried to email her a few times but she never replied.
We had a nice conversation, and that was when I realised that she didn't know she'd been lost or even missed. She just didn't feel the need for relationships other than her immediate family (even her mother-in-law). She told me that she thought of my mum each night and sent her love at that time.
Caroline has always held a special place in my heart since the day she was born when I was 7 years old. I didn't particularly like the rest of my family but felt that here was someone who I could love. I remember choosing her name. I don't know if I came up with the name or that I just agreed it was the name for her, but it was a family decision because she was a surprise late addition to the family. I remember thinking it was a lemon yellow name.
It saddened me that because I left home when she was 11 and did not have a good relationship with my parents at that time, I hardly had any contact with her.
I wonder if the separation all these years, which I have found painful, was the returning karma of not being there for her when she needed someone during her troubled teenage years? I was at college, and setting up home with my husband during that time. It did occur to me to consider if she could come up and live with us but I don't think it occurred to ask her to stay for a visit.
I remember her as a bridesmaid of mine. We didn't have the traditional dresses - no money for that - and we couldn't find a dress that would fit her top and bottom half so we settled for a smart t-shirt top and skirt, while her sister, the maid of honour, wore a summer cotton frock. Caroline felt awkward and unhappy the whole time.
She certainly seems a happier adult. It will be interesting to see how much contact we have now.
Sunday, 23 March 2008
It's Snowing
It's snowing in England right now. Big fluffy snowflakes gently drifting down. I love it.
Quite different to the snow in Montana. The snowflakes there are tiny due to the scarcity of water in the atmosphere. However they do have an abundance of it - for months. It doesn't snow everyday but several times a week. And it settles. There is a permanent blanket of snow from October to April in some places. And the snow is piled high along each road and sidewalk.
In England the snow rarely settles because the ground is too warm and wet. The snow usually melts on impact with the ground. It is a national pastime for people in England to moan about the weather. Every winter I hear complaints about how cold it is. the temperature is rarely below zero Centigrade (or Celsius as it is called now). Though, I must say the wind can be bitter and blow right through your coat making you feel very chilled.
But when I was in Montana a few winters ago the temperature was -7 Celsius on most days. On some days it was below zero Fahrenheit, and for two weeks it was about -34 Fahrenheit. When you get to those numbers it doesn't much matter if you are talking C or F 'cos they are about the same! It is not comfortable to go outside in those temperatures. The air feels like tiny needles are sticking into any exposed skin and the moist air inside your nose freezes. We laughed and thought that we could go back to England and say "You think this is cold?"
At the start of this very cold spell in the new year I drove 70 miles one evening to get my daughter from the airport. She had just spent New Year's in Texas so I took her a warm coat etc. (The Americans call the time around New Year - 'New Year's'. The British would say 'The New Year'.) My car's heating decided to fail during this time and so I had no heat inside the car for about one and a half hours. My feet, despite being in warm boots, were very painfully cold and I was torn between driving faster (over the speed limit) to make the journey shorter or driving safely in the freezing conditions. I was very glad of the relative warmth of the little airport when I got there. I didn't drive the 70 miles back because I actually lived about 6 miles from the airport!
The snow in North Carolina, in contrast to the snow in Montana, consists of enormous flakes. This is because there is such high humidity there. It only snows for a about three to six days there each winter and everything stops on those days. The schools have 'snow days' because the school busses are not designed to travel on icy roads. Also the snow has such a large volume that it quickly reaches knee height. Only the main roads are ploughed, leaving the side roads where most people live impassible by car. I heard pleas for divers of 4-wheeled vehicles to give lifts (English) or rides (American) to hospital workers so they could get to work. These snow days actually cut into the summer holiday time if there are a lot of them.
One snowy spell lasted for a few days and the Principal told the teachers they could go into school if they wanted. Even though it was physically possible to drive into school, I decided not to, because the roads were icy. They do not have gritting lorries there 'cos there is not much need of them. The funny thing is I had the same car with the same tyres driving in Montana to work and back on icy and snow compacted roads to and from work each day! The difference was I was told that my tyres were all-weather ones and that it was safe.
The snow has stopped falling here now, and sure enough there is not a trace of it to be seen. Just the usual wet ground of winter in England.
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