Thurloxton Manor

I wrote a blog post on the first day of my new job in May but for some reason i didn't post it. so here it is now.

My first morning in my new place - I bring the curtain rail down as I open the curtains. My room is a little dark because there is a clump of trees outside my window. It's lovely to see the green. The old, rambling manor house is surrounded by green. The house has been extended throughout the years and so has a higgledy piggledy arrangement of rooms.

The owners live in the main wing, with high ceilings and majestic stairs. The other residents, three old ladies and myself live in the other wing, the one with all the extended bits, quaint narrow stairs and a sloping landing floor. There is a step up to my room and a step down to my en suite bathroom which has a sloping low ceiling and therefore no shower, only a bath. One old lady lives upstairs and she uses the stair lift.

(I found out later that the part I was living in was in fact the original building and as the owner or owners became more wealthy, they built the imposing manor house part. And then someone added quaint bits onto the original old part. I the vestibule of my part of the building there is a bread oven built into the wall. This was no doubt the main living room when originally built.)

I appreciate when the lady on my floor, and the one under my room are watching the same TV program. I also appreciate that they go to bed at around 8 pm so I can have a quite evening,

There is a beautiful dog here called Hugo. He has a very gent;e personality which belies the fact that he will kill and present birds and small mammals. He has a person come in each week groom him, which is more than the ladies get. their hairdresser comes once a fortnight.

The Power of Feelings

Here is a video that is well worth watching.

Gregg Braden, in his illustrated interview 'Miracles of Healing', gives evidence of how our feelings can change our physical bodies and the world around us.

He says "We must feel the feeling as if the prayer has already been answered, and in that feeling, we are speaking to the forces of creation, allowing the world to respond to us." "The words aren't the prayer - it's the feeling behind the prayer that gets the results." If we pray for peace we can feel as if we are participating in that peace. "As we feel the peace in our world or the healing in the bodies of our loved ones, we are actually empowering the field of energy (or God) to mirror that back to us in a way that will bring those changes about in our lives and in our world."

He goes on to give evidence of healing and peace brought about by the collective feeling, believing or knowing of the immaculate concept.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2116868226384685853#

Shannon the Cat

Before I leave this house I must post about the cats here. Well actually they are kittens.

They are posh kittens in that they have certificates of pedigree and cost a lot of money. Because of their cost they aren't allowed outside in case someone steals them. The cats didn't know they were missing anything and never attempted to go outside, until they were taken away on a fishing trip. I don't think they actually participated in any fishing, they just went with the family to save the hassle and expense of boarding them in a cattery. They didn't appear to enjoy the journey. I know this because they were difficult to extract from under the car seats when they got home. But now, they know there is something interesting outside the front door they sometimes make a dash for it if they see it open.

I must say that only one cat has a full pedigree, the ugly one. She really is ugly. She has a face that has a permanent scowl on it. She looks very bad tempered. Fortunately she doesn't seem to actually have a bad temper. She, along with the other cat, a male called Peewee, who has only a partial pedigree, get hauled around all over the house, used as toys and get cuddled and squeezed to within an inch of their life. They are both remarkably docile with the amount of unintentional mistreatment they get, and only occasionally strike back with a scratch. I think this was the thinking behind spending so much money. The family has had several pets but some have not been suitable.

As soon as I saw the cat Marshmallow she reminded me of a girl who went to a school I taught at. Her name is Shannon. I looked at a picture I have of her the other day and was disappointed to see the picture looked nothing like the cat. She had smiled for the camera so wasn't wearing her habitual expression.

Moving On Again

Today I was offered a job. I hadn't applied for it - well, I had applied for it at the beginning of February and hadn't been given an interview. I was disappointed. I was told my frequent job changes had been against me plus I was overqualified for the job. They thought a teacher would not be content with a housekeeper/cook job.

The person they appointed is leaving. She has been given a chance of a home of her own. She's been looking after other people all her working life and at the age of 60 didn't want to turn the offer down.

When I applied for the job I loved the area - a small country village just outside Taunton in Somerset. I've always wanted to live in the country and have never managed it yet. The job is part time, working weekends plus a few hours on Fridays and Mondays. It's a live-in position looking after 3 elderly ladies in a manor house. http://www.thurloxtonmanor.co.uk/

I've been visiting my Mother this weekend and although she's said she doesn't want to live in a home for the elderly, I wanted to visit it and thought if she saw it, she might decide it was a lovely place and change her mind. She doesn't need care and this place doesn't cater for that but they do help people once it has become their home. Mum liked the place but doesn't want to move, however, they offered the job to me to save them advertising it again.

So now I'll give you the background on why I've (almost) decided to take it.

Last Sunday night my employers came back from a business trip to China. They had been away 11 days. I had not had a day off in 14 days and quite frankly I was exhausted. They had only planned on being away for 7 days but the volcanic ash extended their stay. When they got back it became clear they weren't planning on giving me a day off until the following weekend (which would have been 19 days without a break) but jet-lag caught up with them and they didn't go into work on the Monday. I stayed in my room and caught up with tasks I had promised people I would do but hadn't been able to due to not having any time to do them. I went down in the afternoon and the youngest girl asked me to do an activity with her. I panicked and asked the mum if I could please have the day off because I had so much to do. She relented. The next day the dad was ill and spent it on the sofa so I just took the day off, but I did relent and offered to get them all some food at lunchtime.

I had been given my normal wages but no extra. After releasing the resentment I felt about the whole situation using the violet flame http://www.transformnet.org/ and EFT http://www.eftfree.net/discover-eft/, I sent the parents an email asking to be paid for my time. I told them my wages for that time period worked out at £1.50 and hour. I gave them the going rate for 24 hour care and mentioned it was common to give double time pay for weekends worked over and above the week's work. I deducted 2 week's pay I'd already been given, plus one weekend's double time because I'd just had two days off after the 14 days and deducted another £100 because the house hadn't been as clean as the mum had wanted, so I was asking for an extra £500.

The next day they had a talk with me about my request. It was refused. The reasons were

• They had told me when I first started that I would be getting no extra money for trips because the girls were at school and the time for the (weekend business trips which they were talking about) would be balanced out by having time off whilst the girls were at school
• It was my choice to educate them at home. He said I had insisted and he hadn't wanted to take the girls out of school when he did. So therefore it was my fault that I hadn't had any breaks whilst they were away.
• It wasn't their fault the trip was extended
• He had provided me with a nice car, and even though it was to take the girls places it was available for my use when I had time off. (I reiterated that I had paid for all petrol that I had used for my own trips.)
• They couldn't understand how I could have been tired because I was allowed to do anything I wanted during the days (apart from having a break from looking after the girls of course).
• They didn't have rules for me to follow.
• They also threw in that they thought it was odd behaviour of mine to stay in my room each evening and not watch TV with them all in the lounge.

I explained that as an introvert I renewed my energy by being on my own, whereas extroverts renew their energy by being with others. I also told them that whilst I appreciated all he had said (although I disagreed that he had taken the girls out of school at my insistence) I felt that another person who had a high enough self esteem would also be asking to be recompensed fairly for the work they did. He then went on to tell me that some young girl they had interviewed for the job before, had worked from 7 am to 7 pm each day for £85 a week. I said that she probably wanted to leave to get more money.

Whilst I was still in my resentful phase I had decided to get another job, but after 'the talk' I'd decided to stay because I like the girls and the mum and I did have autonomy over how I spent the days and the car is lovely, and no family is perfect, and it's a big hassle applying for jobs.

When the mum gave me my wages she mimed zipped lips and gave me an extra £40. Quite a lot short of the £500 I asked for but was probably as much as she could get away with without questions being asked.

So the people at Thurloxton Manor are waiting to see if when I give in my notice the dad will relent and cough up the cash.

A Voting Dilemma

For the first time in my voting career my vote in these parliamentary elections may actually count!

I've always lived in an area which has been a safe Labour seat. This time, although the sitting MP is Labour, it isn't a safe seat. I usually vote Conservative because they are the only party, as far as I can see, who is as keen on personal responsibility as I am.

I have never voted Labour and never will, because the socialist party does not promote personal responsibility. In fact they have the opposite view, that it's the state that should take responsibility for the individual.

So you may think I'd be rejoicing, that this time, when I vote Conservative it might make a difference and contribute to the nation by creating another Conservative MP.

However, I have a problem and it's about the local Conservative candidate.

You see she is a mother of three young children and is separated from their father. Now, I'm sure at this point, some people who are keen on women's rights etc. will be getting a little hot under the collar and may even have stopped reading at this point.

Let me explain. I believe that young children need to have their mothers around and available for most of the time. This way, they feel secure and are able to grow up secure in the fact of their mother's love for them. The words "I love you" ring hollow to a child unless they see that love in action, and the action a young child understands is the loving attention the mother bestows on them. One of the largest problems of today's youth is that their mothers worked outside the home and had no time for them and this affected their self esteem. Of course this is a sweeping generalisation and there are also other factors involved, but the lack of loving attention bestowed upon the child by his mother has enormous consequences.

The period of time a child is young is so short when the life-span of the mother is taken into account. A woman taking full time care of her offspring is indeed contributing greatly to society by producing stable and caring citizens. She can certainly contribute to the wider society in other ways once her children aren't so dependent on her for their feeling of security.

So if I vote for the Conservative candidate and she wins the seat, then that would be good for the country, but bad for her children. However loving she is, and however quality the time she plans to spend with her children, they will lose out on quantity time with their mum. MPs spend long hours away from home in order to do their job properly. If I don't vote Conservative, and the Labour candidate retains the seat, it may be disastrous for the country but three children will be able to spend more time with their mother - or will they?

Eating

Claire asked if I wanted to visit the wholefood shop she goes to and loves and of course I said yes, especially as they serve cooked food in a cafe there. I was amazed to see it was a Whole Foods Market that I know and love from my time living in the USA. There isn't one in Bozeman, Montana, but they are most everywhere else in the country.

I had heard there was a branch in the centre of London and in fact there are a few dotted around now. The stores in the USA are usually in a large purpose build building and is enormous by British standards. By contrast this store in Capham Junction, takes over three small shops with adjoining doorways and is subsequently quaint and lacking in space.

I was glad to see a good range of supplements but I noticed an absence of Stevia, the natural 'sweetener' that in the west we aren't supposed to call a sweetener, because of the hold of the pharmaceutical companies on the governments of USA and European Union. In both the USA and Germany (I don't know about other countries, you can buy the product that calls itself a supplement. The slogan (to get around the rules) is 'Don't sweeten your drink, supplement it.' However it's not to be found anywhere in Britain, which is a shame because it doesn't effect blood sugar levels (and other problems) like other natural sweeteners and doesn't adversely affect the brain like all artificial sweeteners.

After we had visited Southside House we came upon Le Pain Quotidien in Wimbledon High Street. It was a lovely place. There were quite a few families with young children, and the food was delicious.

Stately Homes

Claire and I visited two stately homes this weekend.

They was a very large contrast between the two. The first one Southside House. on the south side of Wimbledon Common is a 16 century house. Well, it's two houses built with an adjoining wall and made into one in the last century.

The interest of this house is the story of the people who lived there. It is a small dwelling by stately homes standards, and all visitors are treated to a guided tour. And this is the interest. The story of the house and it's people is told by the guide. It's a story of tragedy, strong will and absence of true love. So it's good to learn the lesson here.

The other home, by contrast, is an enormous royal palace, the Hampton Court Palace. Half Tudor and Half Georgian. Another story of tragedy, strong will and absence of true love. A famous inhabitant was King Henry VIII.

We were fortunate to be visiting on the Bank Holiday Monday of the Easter weekend because they had actors the whole day depicting the state visit to the Palace (at that time belonging to Cardinal Wolsey) of King Henry and his first wife Katherine of Aragon. To make the story interesting, a lady called Anne Boleyn was in the party and Cardinal Wolsey gave a key to the gate to the King so he could come and go to his apartments there as much as he wished, but the king misunderstood and thought he had been given the whole palace. Of course you don't argue with the king.

Claire and I witnessed the last two scenes in Henry's apartments, which was great because reference was made to events that had happened earlier in the day so it didn't feel like we'd missed anything. Apparently the king and the lady Anne Boleyn had been flirting durting the dancing. The actors were very good. The public, mostly children, were given the opportunity to wear 'velvet' robes so they could feel part of the scenes. In fact we were part of them.

The reason we arrived later was because we spent the first part of the day in the beautiful gardens. In fact I think the best part of the visit was sitting on a bench surrounded by a sea of daffodils dancing with the breeze in the sun.

More Technological Wonders

I have been so grateful for the SAT NAV this last weekend. I remember how stressful it is to drive around London using a map or a list of driving directions, but using the SAT NAV is a cinch! I let the technology deal with the hard part while I concentrate on being safe.

It let me down twice however, but both times I was on a motorway so I just carried on and used my judgement. Both times it failed was when I stopped at a services and when I got back to the car the machine was telling me 'no route found' however much I tried to programme it. I sorted it a few miles down the way so it all worked out fine.

Technology, doesn't work without electricity though. I got home to a cold dark house. The house is rented and so has a system of prepaying for electricity and the payment had run out over the weekend. I couldn't see inside the house. I couldn't find my matches and so went to a garage to get a torch.

I'd left my bed strewn with stuff that I'd had to turf out of a bag I wanted to use.

I found the water to be still hot so had a shower and went to bed. I had bought lots of food for the week but didn't put it in the fridge or freezer because I tried them and they weren't cold.

In the morning I could see, but the house was very cold.

The family came back mid morning and bought more electricity.

The Wonders of Technology

I thank God for the wonders of technology! Today I was able to watch and participate in my Granddaughter Cara's baptism even though I was thousands of miles away.

Her parents had decided to have her baptised during the Easter conference of the Summit Lighthouse, which is broadcast via video streaming on the internet. I thank the person manning the camera for training it onto the family group whilst people were greeting the baby after the ceremony.

I saw her other proud grandma taking photos so I hope see some great pictures of the event soon too.

Change

I seem to have chosen a life of change. (I mean the change that occurs when I do something different. I don't mean the money type change, although that might be true too because I don't see any big bucks in my life, just small change.)

However, I don't find change easy at all. I get anxious before I travel anywhere. I even get anxious before I go out of the front door for any reason. I find ways to delay the event. "Oh, I just need to do this." Or when I've got outside the door, I often need to go back in because I've forgotten something. I'm often late for work because I don't want to stop what I'm doing and go to work, but then I equally don't want to to leave work, for the same reason. This is even true now, when my work is just outside my bedroom door as I live-in on the job.

Ah, I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that I never wanted to go home from school because I never knew what mood my mother would be in? Not that she ever abused me, but she was often short tempered and irritable.

I remember preparing for a short holiday in the Lake District with my then husband. We lived in Manchester so it was only about an hour of two away, but we spent the whole of the first day getting ready to go. We had food to buy and packing to do and ended up arriving in the evening. Neither of us were happy about this, but felt we couldn't do anything different.

Another memorable time was when I was travelling with my two babies to visit my parents who lived 200 miles away. My husband didn't want to spend the time in visiting them, so I was on my own. I stopped at a motorway services to change the girl's nappies. The baby changing room didn't accommodate a double buggy, so had to leave it outside the room whilst I was in doing that. It didn't have a toilet in it, so I had to ask a stranger to look after my two children while I relieved myself! We then all wanted something to eat. I fed my youngest and because of the stress and new surroundings my toddler wanted me to feed her too and I needed something to eat as well, and that had taken so long that the nappies needed changing again, and I needed to go too! As we were leaving, I found a pay-phone and some change to let my mum know of the change of arrival time and discovered we had been there two hours!

And the there was the time I went to Frankfurt for a few days to attend a meeting. I had a car but decided to take public transport to the airport to save on parking fees. My journey consisted of taxi to the train station, train to London, underground system to anther train station and a train to the airport. About 2-3 hours in total. Of course as usual I was anxious before the event. I tend to delay packing 'til the very last minute and rush around leaving my dwelling looking like a tornado had hit it.

Arriving at the check-in I was asked for my passport, which I didn't have with me! So I used my return train tickets a little earlier than expected to go get it. Arriving back home I find i had also left something else very important behind so packed that too. I phoned my friend, who was picking me up from the remote airport used by cheap airlines, about the problem and asked him to be there when the last flight got in at after midnight his time. It was a difficult decision about how to get back. Do I spend precious time on the internet working out which is the quickest route? Do I drive in the rush hour traffic and pay for parking which, if there are no hold ups would get me to the airport earlier than public transport? Do I book the car-park online, thus saving some money?

I opt for driving and booking online to find I could only save money if booking a day in advance. Fortunately the notorious M25 motorway has free flowing traffic and I arrive at the long term car park in time. However the buses I see are all going the opposite direction - about 4 of them! I get desperate, the flight leaves in 30 minutes, and flag one down. He has no passengers and I explain my plight so he helps me get my flight. (Love the rhyming, don't you?)

He careens around corners at alarming speed and drops me off. I run to check-in knowing I don't have a valid ticket but want to let them know I'm there. I pay extra for the change of ticket, rush back to check-in and run through the now nearly empty airport to the departure gate. The departure gate is empty! Oh woe is me! I'll miss the first day of the meeting and I'm the secretary, supposed to take minutes! I'll have to stay here all night because no way can I afford the petrol to go back home again. And my friend with a car in Germany will have to come out and miss some of the meeting too, or I'll have to do the scary thing and get public transport in a country where I don't read or speak the language, and I'm out of money anyway.

Deep breath. I go to the help desk. I was at the wrong gate! So I run even further, arrive at the gate ..... and wait in line about 15 minutes because the plane is delayed!

At the almost deserted airport in Germany I can't find my friend and my phone is not working and I can't get the alien pay-phones to work. And I'm tired. After what seems like ages and was probably only a few minutes I spot him. Whew, bless him for coming an hour's drive to pick me up and refusing the petrol money.

Anyway, the reason I started this post was because I came down to London yesterday to stay with my daughter for Easter but arrived at 5pm due to the above problem. I drink a lot of water and so need to make frequent stops along the way. At one stop I resisted buying chocolate (I don't do that anymore) but still wanted to buy something to stop me feeling anxious so I bought a book. Much more expensive but less detrimental to my health. Of course the best thing to do in that situation is to tap EFT style on the fact that I feel anxious, but it doesn't seem as appealing as buying a book. Back at the car i find the SAT NAV stopped working and won't find my route! Grr, sniff sniff. I'm pretty sure of my rout into London so continue on my way, hoping it will decide to work to get me through London to the house I've never been to before. After feeling sorry for myself for a while I start tapping my finger to the side of my thumbnail. This makes a difference.

At my next stop I buy a cheese toasty even though I'm not particularly hungry. I obviously need more tapping. Fortunately I had an idea to program the SAT NAV differently and yes, it gave me the route again. So I was able to navigate through London without mishap. Yay!