The Sunday Club

Reading about John Holt's observations on the school system has reminded me of my own schooldays.

I had the opposite view of school to everyone I knew. I loved the lessons but disliked the playtimes (recess). I enjoyed learning and found many of the lessons interesting, except when I had to hear a child, who was a slow reader, read. I was chosen for this task because I was a fluent reader, but I found listening to children struggling to read boring a tedious. Funny that I then went on to become a teacher (I didn't have the same view of hearing readers later in life fortunately.) I also remember feeling sorry for the teacher when I was 11 years old who had to hear the struggling readers every day, because these were the smelly kids and the teacher had to spend time being in close proximity to them.

I didn't like the playtimes because I didn't fit in with any popular group and didn't want to be with the other misfits. However, when I was a teenager at the girls school I attended, I decided that being with the misfit group was better than being on my own. It was very painful at lunchtimes because I felt the need to be sitting next to others so I wouldn't stand out as being on my own, so I found a group of girls whose parents were in the RAF and so lived on the nearby RAF station. They of course didn't fit in with any of the other girls because they moved schools so often, and had different life experiences.

I was 14 and they talked about the Sunday afternoon club they all went to on the station. I lived one and a half miles from it, a long walk with no public transport along the route. They invited me to go and so my dad took me in the car and I would call him when I wanted picking up 'cos the group would be going to see a film on the site after the club.

This was the first time I was exposed to so many males, although there weren't more than 15 or so, and there were about 10 girls. We drank coke and played records and some played pool and one guy kissed me. I didn't think much of it (and neither did he I learned later, giving me a bad report, to which my boyfriend Davey told me he refuted).

Davey was 18 like all the other lads and I was very impressed. He was from Scotland and we paired up and when we kissed it didn't come as such a surprise and I'm a quick learner so it was very satisfactory for both of us.

We all went to the pub after the club. I'd never been in a pub before, and didn't know what drink to order, but I remember my mother drinking a larger and lime when we went on holiday and stopped at a pub at lunchtime occasionally. Children were not allowed inside so we sat in the gardens. So I ordered a larger and lime. It's a good job Davey asked me what I wanted because I don't think I had any money. Ladies drank this drink in a half pint glass. I like the taste fortunately.

Outside, though, I didn't like the effect. I felt suddenly dizzy and off balance, but of course I didn't want anyone to know I'd just had my first alcoholic drink. I think I might have been within the law for being inside the pub at that age but no-one was allowed to drink alcohol until the age of 18. However the law didn't signify for young people then, and it's the same today.

We went to the place that was showing the film and, as we queued up I told Davey that he only needed to pay half price for me as I was under 16 but he quickly shushed me because the film was Dracular, and X rated, meaning only those over 18 could watch it.

This was another first (and last) for me. I didn't enjoy this horror film but everyone else thought it was hilarious. I've never seen another horror film. I don't see the point. - Oh, I think that's selective memory, because I'm sure I continued to see the Sunday films as long as I went to the club, and there would likely be more horror films shown.

So my dad came to pick me up and when I got home I told my parents what had happened (apart from the kissing bit). My mum, the spokesperson, said "We'd rather you stayed with a group than paired off with one boy and if the group is going into a pub, we aren't going to ban you from going. However, we'd rather you don't drink alcohol."

I said "Oh it didn't occur to me that I could have a non-alcoholic drink! What drinks are there then?" They gave me a list, and I was relieved because I didn't like the sensation the alcohol induced. (Unfortunately this reticence to drink alcohol only lasted about a year or so.)

The girls at school were astounded that I told my parents about the pub. It didn't occur to me to not tell them. I didn't have a perfect relationship with my parents, but it was obviously better than the relationship many adolescents have.

Protecting her child

I was riding the bus home when it started to rain. So I wrapped up and got my umbrella ready as we neared my stop.

Off the bus, brolly up, the bus pulled away. I noticed a family walking on the opposite pavement. Two children lagging behind mum who pushed a buggy. I was surprised to see the mum with bare arms. It was not warm at all outside. I looked again and saw her thick tights and boots. Hmm. Then I saw her coat draped over the buggy, designed to protect the occupant from the rain.

I admired her selflessness in putting her child's comfort ahead of her own.

It was a thick dark coat so I hoped the child was asleep and/or not afraid of the dark, and that there was some way that air could get to the child.

And I hoped they would be home soon.

Selfish adults 'damage childhood'

This is a very interesting audio.

The aggressive pursuit of personal success by adults is now the greatest threat to British children, a major independent report on childhood says. Home Affairs Editor Mark Easton at the BBC, reports on the call for a sea-change in social attitudes and policies to counter the damage done to children by society.


Thirty thousand children and young people, parents, professionals and organisations contributed to the two-year inquiry into childhood, managed by The Children’s Society. The evidence submitted was considered by the independent panel of experts.
‘A Good Childhood: searching for values in a competitive age’ is the final report of The Good Childhood Inquiry, managed by The Children’s Society.
The Patron of the inquiry was The Most Revd and The Rt Hon. Dr Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury
The Chair of the Inquiry was Professor Judy Dunn, Professor of Developmental Psychology, Institute of Psychiatry, King’s College London

The report is heavily evidence-based and covers the lives of children, beginning with family and friends, expanding to lifestyle, values and schools, and ending with mental health and child poverty.
The Children’s Society is a leading children’s charity committed to making childhood better for all children in the UK; www.childrenssociety.org.uk

Here is what the report says in a nutshell.
Leading experts today identify excessive individualism as the greatest threat to our children. In a landmark report on A Good Childhood, commissioned by The Children’s Society and published by Penguin, they show that children’s lives have become more difficult than in the past, and they trace this to excessive individualism.
This produces more family discord and conflict; more pressure to own things; excessive competition in schools; and unacceptable income inequality. According to the panel, excessive individualism needs to be replaced by a value system where people seek satisfaction more from helping others rather than pursuing private advantage.
Their report is based on detailed evidence and findings, and leads to challenging recommendations.
The findings include:
* The proportion of children experiencing significant emotional or behavioural difficulties rose from 8% in 1974 to 16% in 1999, and has remained at that level.
* Some 70% of children agree “parents getting on well is one of the most important factors in raising happy children.”By contrast only 30% of parents agree with the statement - a significant difference of perspective.
* Children with step-parents or a single parent are, on average, 50% more likely to suffer short-term problems with academic achievement, self-esteem, behaviour, depression or anxiety.
* Only a quarter of the children who are seriously disturbed by mental health difficulties get any kind of specialist help.
* Increased exposure to T.V. and Internet increases materialistic desires and reduces mental health.
* Children who spend 18 hours taking a Resilience Programme, which teaches children to manage their own feelings and how to understand and care for others, are half as likely to experience depression over the next three years and also do better academically.
* Britain and the U.S. are more unequal than other advanced countries and have lower average well-being among their children.In Sweden 8% of children live at below 60% of median income. In Britain the number is 22%.
The report makes recommendations to parents, teachers, government, media and society at large. They include:
* People who bring a child into the world should have a long-term commitment to each other and should aim to live harmoniously with each other.
* For children whose birth is not celebrated through a religious ceremony like christening, there should be a civil birth ceremony where parents celebrate the birth of their child and vow to care for the child.
* Support for parents should include free parenting classes available around childbirth, and psychological support if their own relationship falters, or if their child has emotional or behavioural difficulties.
* At least 1,000 more psychological therapists should be trained to support children and families.
* Schools should be “values-based communities” promoting mutual respect between teachers, parents and children. They must develop character as well as competence.
* Personal, social and health education in secondary schools should be taught by specialists trained to teach these difficult subjects.
* Teachers in deprived areas should be paid significantly more than elsewhere to ensure that teaching quality and teacher turnover is no worse in deprived areas than elsewhere.
* School league tables and SATs should be abolished. Testing prior to GCSEs should continue within schools but purely as a guide to the progress of every individual child.
* Advertising aimed at children under 12 should be banned, as should all advertisements for alcohol or unhealthy food on television before 9 p.m.
* The government must achieve its target for the reduction of child poverty.
The report’s author, Lord Richard Layard, said:
“Our evidence showed clearly how stressful life has become for many children in all social classes. We identified a common thread in these problems, which is the excessive individualism in our culture. This needs to be reversed, and children to learn that being of use to others is ultimately more satisfying than an endless struggle for status”.
Chair of the inquiry and co-author, Professor Judy Dunn, said:
“In the Good Childhood Inquiry we had a great opportunity to see how children today experience their lives within their families, at school, with their friends (and enemies!), their problems and their pleasures. We looked critically at the evidence for and against the beliefs about children today that get media attention. What we learned has lessons for all of us - parents, teachers, and those concerned with policy making and the care of children.”
Bob Reitemeier, chief executive of The Children’s Society, said:
“This landmark report for The Children’s Society says the aggressive pursuit of individual success by adults is now the greatest threat to our children, and we are determined to do something about that. Essentially the report brings a taboo into the open which is that we have to confront our selfish and individualistic culture. We need to realise that we are collectively responsible for the welfare of all children and that together we can make childhood better.’’
The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, comments on the Good Childhood Inquiry:

“Our children deserve the best we can give them, and I hope this Report will stir us to action in the wide variety of areas it touches upon. The Report shows something of the energy, the good sense and the vision of so many of our young people. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that the well-being of children and young people in this country is far from being the priority it should be, and this Report spells out in carefully researched detail some of the ways in which we are failing them. It is a clarion call for us as a society to do better.”
'A Good Childhood: searching for values in a competitive age’ will be published by Penguin on 5 February 2009, priced at £9.99.